I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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