you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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