So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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