Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
