to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize