Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sarcasm needs its own font
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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