I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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