i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We don't watch enough power rangers
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
