I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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