I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
