My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
