I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
