time to smoke my breakfast
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
