Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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