you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
