at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
