what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize