It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
