omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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