My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
jump out the window naked night went bad
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
