Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize