They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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