Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
