You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
