I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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