Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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