he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
