worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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