i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
PANTIES FOUND
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