I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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