can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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