I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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