she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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