There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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