What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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