Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
should my penis look like a turkey
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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