I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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