I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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