Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
