Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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