better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize