i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize