You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
