Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
