its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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