Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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