This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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