I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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