no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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