AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
