she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
