Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your cock deserves a montage
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
