he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
