apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
