i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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