I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
