She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize