you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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