Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize