I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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