writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
