Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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