Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I need moral support for this bender
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
