Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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