you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
where am i from again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
