I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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