so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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